Wheels of Change

It was so quiet. I couldn’t even hear myself moving down the hallway. It seemed that there was a sound vacuum. The walls, the floor sucked up every wave of sound. I’d never heard nothing quite like it. The hallway was long. So long that you couldn’t see next week or next month, let alone tomorrow. After what seemed like miles of silent transport down the never-ending hallway I came to the door.

It isn’t just any door, but The Door. I had envisioned this moment for so long that I wasn’t sure what to do, how to proceed. I didn’t dare touch the knob. I froze and both time and space stood still. It was massive, at least ten feet tall. Made of quarter-sawn oak, brilliantly finished. The light refracted in a blinding array, even though the nearest overhead light was twenty feet away. It was as though the oak itself were alive, breathing. And shining. The knob was ordinary. Pewter, but not the kind of grand knob with a solid gold knocker that I might have expected from such an important door.

Outside the door, a million possibilities ran through my mind. This could be the answer to all of my questions. All of my hopes and dreams. It could change the course of my life in an instant- could be the key to every cookie cabinet everywhere in the world. I don’t believe that I had ever fully appreciated the potential of any other door. I suppose they all held equal opportunity to be life changing, I just never saw it.

Swallowing hard, I decided that I had to do it- I had to go in there to face life’s possibilities. And to embrace at least a few of them. I reached my hand out for the pewter knob. I felt a shock, as though it was electrified. That can’t be right. I tried again with the lightest of touches. I began to turn the knob to the right. The handle snapped back in the opposite direction. I jumped back, my heart thundering. Was someone on the other side trying to get out? Deep breath. Another one. It had to have been the natural action of the knob, just moving back to neutral after I held it lightly while turning. I forced myself to believe that, as the thundering of my heart lessened.

I tried again. I took hold of the knob, firmer this time and turned it, expecting resistance. There was none, the knob turned easily and then the click and the door moved. Without giving myself time to reconsider, I pushed the door open and entered. I stopped. I had to take some time to gaze around, to take in the grandness of this place. It looked like…well, it looked like just about any room in any office building anywhere in the US. Antiseptic smell, beige floor tiles, small sealed windows, Ikea furniture. Nothing remotely special about the interior. I must be missing something. There must be something grand here somewhere to indicate the importance of this room.

I took a spot at the empty table to continue my search. There was no one to be seen. No sign of life anywhere. There were doors off the main waiting area, but no voices, shadows or other remnants of life. But there must be something going on here, somewhere. I would figure it out. On the table were issues of O, Oprah’s magazine. Lucky me. It looked like the complete collection since the very first issue. I wouldn’t have known such a thing, except for the card that said “This is the complete collection, in order, of O Magazine, please do not attempt to steal them, as an alarm will go off.”

I sat, tapping my fingers on the table. Waiting. I still had no idea what it was that I waited for. It would come to me soon, I was sure. A long way off, down one of the corridors, through one of the doors, I thought I heard sounds. I listened intently. Maybe this was why I had come. The sounds did come from above. Maybe one of the doors led to stairs. I was certain now that I could hear voices and footsteps. There were at least two people, coming toward me. At a snail’s pace. Didn’t they understand how important this was to me? What this could mean? It’s hard to remain calm in the face of such a life changing force, but I did my best. I tried the Lamaze breathing that I’m always seeing on TV. I’d just skip the “push” part. There probably was no need for that at this moment. The breathing seemed to help the people arrive a little sooner.

Suddenly, the door opened, and I saw steep stairs climbing into shadows, stars and brilliantly colored lights. It looked like a doorway to another universe and one of the strangest people, scratch that, creatures, I had ever seen walked through the door.

It said “We’ve been waiting for you. What has taken you so long?” The other creature did not walk through the door.

I stuttered “I..I..I..”, not knowing what to say and being dumbstruck to boot.

Luckily the creature took no notice of my lack of the most basic of linguistic skills. It looked like a wizard, but had a long snout, similar to that of a dog. And pointy
ears. It actually looked like the wolf dressed up as grandma. It had big teeth too, but it was smiling and it looked like a genuine smile. It was not scary, which is usually a good thing when you’re being offered the opportunity to pass into the realm of another universe and your guide looks like the wolf that ate grandma.

It took in the rest of the empty room and then looked at me “Well, are you ready to go?”

I said, “I have been ready to go for twenty-five years. Yes, I am ready.”

I wheeled my chair over to the doorway and it stared at me as though seeing a ghost. It just looked down at me sadly, stepped back and closed the door between us.

Copyright 2007 Antigone Lett. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.